The Components that Keep Relationships Together

happy couple 2What does it take to keep a relationship strong? I can suggest four components and I hope you’ll comment on more.

Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,”


God, time, communication and laughter in my opinion, is the glue that holds any relationship together.

GOD is the Anchor. He instills a moral compass as well as the Golden Rule. There is no coincidence with God. He brought you together for a reason. Do you care? That which you care about, you take care of. Protect each other’s feelings through a lifetime commitment of love and respect.

LAUGHTER keeps a relationship young-at-heart. What seems like a crisis  in a relationship can often be a learning experience which over time is usually laughed about when relating that story to family and friends years later. Don’t sweat the small stuff, as the saying goes. In perspective, it’s all small stuff. Only what we do for our Lord matters.

TIME. In a strong, loving, balanced relationship, a couple should continually allocate more time together than apart. Never stop supporting, learning and growing together! God created us as complex creatures. It’s exciting to discover new interests that add to a couple’s extensive memory portfolio in marriage!

Communicate! Don’t let your relationships become complacent! Complacency leads to boredom. Sadly, many marriages are disposable in today’s throw-away society. How many times while counseling did I heard the phrase: “We used to talk for hours, but he doesn’t communicate with me anymore!” I can’t believe in life you can’t find something to talk about:  vacation plans, politics, sports, travel, world events, work, music, television shows, a joke you heard, a Bible study point of view . . . there’s literally a world of items to discuss!  Wouldn’t most women would prefer good communication from the heart than a gift from the store?

Real one-on-one communication in this age seems to be disintegrating as quickly as paper books. Twitter, Texting and Facebook have emerged as conversations without actual voices. A happy face icon is replacing actual laughter and a physical hug and in this extremely mobile modern world, even close friendships can dissolve quickly.

A study conducted by the University of North Carolina indicated that stress levels were lowered when participants hugged each other. Hugging releases chemical feel-good endorphins such as oxytocin, described as a hormone of love and the neurotransmitter serotonin. This allows us emotionally to feel safe, secure and in trusted hands. No amount of x’s and o’s attached to an internet hug can replace a physical one!

When one feels an emptiness in their spirit, something must fill that love hunger.  People try drugs, alcohol, sex or food to fill the loneliness, stress, restlessness, depression, boredom and countless other emotions in their lives.  Each changes physical chemistry with its myriad of feel-good hormonal components. It’s difficult to give up something that makes one feel good but ultimately these choices bring destruction.

Jesus understands. He’s felt the isolation, betrayal, sadness, taunting and any emotion you’ve felt. He wants to be that safe place for you to find comfort and restore your relationship. Actually the Lord is the only one who can!

  “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Mathew 11:28

It takes commitment, patience and the Lord as the center of any relationship to ensure longevity. Reach out to Him!




2 thoughts on “The Components that Keep Relationships Together

  1. A very helpful message Ellie , uplifting with good instruction for a healthy marriage, it takes two , yes very True.

    I have never seen a marriage end for any reason where the Wife is Loved and cherished as Christ Loves the Church and her Husband considers her needs first and appreciates her as his Helpmate physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

    Or have I seen it end when a wife Loves and willingly submits to her Husband respecting his role as Spiritual Leader and so having the final decision in all matters of importance in the Spiritual welfare of the family and when both honour their marriage vows to remain committed through the good and bad, to keep the marriage bed pure, both physically and in their thoughts, to not withhold physical contact, to always consider each other as people of worth and to forgive continually and not focus on weaknesses and shortcomings but each others strengths and yes as you shared enjoy fun times together.

    Can we do all these things in the flesh, No it must be put to death by The Spirit, only Jesus can empower us to live the Christian Life and so have a good Marriage too.

    Simply put………For a man and woman to really find each other they have to find Jesus first because it is in Him alone that they can know Eternal Unity of The Spirit that blossoms now into enriching, heartwarming Love.

    Christian Love from both of us – Anne.


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