I admit it, I’m not a shoe person. I don’t go gaga over shoes. Perhaps it’s because I preferred going barefoot on my childhood farm. I do however, enjoy comfort. If shoes happen to be pretty, great, but I won’t force my size 7 feet into an uncomfortable pointy pair simply because it’s a designer’s name! I once had an employer who purchased an $864 pair of heels and while every other gal there “oooh’d and aahed” the Scottish side of me was thinking, how wasteful.
However, last weekend, I found the cutest pair of boots. I tried them on but couldn’t walk far because they were chained together. So by faith I purchased them. When I got home and finally strolled around in them, I knew I had made the right decision. I haven’t a clue why, but they made me stride taller and feel confident.
One frivolous purchase altered my thought pattern. If changing something on the outside can make one feel self-assured, can you imagine what it’d be like to transform your personal perceptions on the inside and feel totally confident in the Lord? What liberation!
Self assurance is a wonderful God-given gift. Not conceit, Romans 12:3 rebukes us, ” Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”
Confidence, as in Hebrews 4:16, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace . . .” confidence. “You’re a child of the King” confidence! Philippians 4:13 confidence!
With God by our side, we can conquer mountains! Caleb did! Conquering our insecurities is in our hands. Believing in our personal positive attributes must be grasped individually; no one else can do it for us. God will be with us every step of the way for He wants us confident enough to rebuke temptation!
It’s usually those who have been taught not express oneself, to be “good little boys or girls” who need confidence builders. If one spoke his mind, Mom said “now say two nice things.” That teaches us subconsciously that our opinion/feelings are faulty or don’t matter. Don’t tell me how you feel, that’s unimportant, just do as I say. No wonder some bury everything inside, turning to food for comfort. To discover that chocolate doesn’t talk back to you and is like a warm hug against your inner child.
Your opinions and needs matter! We are commanded to speak the truth in love but after so many years of holding the pain within, sometimes we unlock the floodgates and frustration recklessly spews out all at once. Have you ever yelled at your spouse or child and it had nothing to do with them? Usually the cause turns out to be a subconscious painful memory.
Choose Rather to Build Confidence, Breaking that Chain:
- Stay in the Word. Memorize Scripture. It’s remarkable how a Bible verse will come to mind when needed most.
- Affirm that you are special to God simply because you exist! Write down your good characteristics. Take steps to change detrimental ones.
- You are important to your family. Reveal who you are.
- If truly wronged, don’t attack; speak softly, divulge how a statement made you feel. If you can disclose those personal moments, such as my father made fun of me in public too, they’ll probably understand.
- When under stress, don’t eat – exercise, go for a walk because fresh air releases feel-good endorphins.
- Put yourself in another’s shoes. After your snarky retort, they’re wondering, “what the heck did I do???” Humans aren’t mind readers and if you don’t express yourself, how would they know? Burying your feelings will only kick the can down the road.
Isaiah 41: 9,10 “I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Remember you are not junk, you’re a child of the King. Live confidently!